Our first Fulfilling Work event was great, a success beyond the criteria we'd set ourselves. I was on a high. The content of the workshop had been, in part, about our critical, pessimistic selves and how to manage and soothe that protective, frightened part of us. Sitting in the bar afterwards celebrating, I was aware of a warning voice in my head going "Yes, but this fabulous working relationship and developing friendship won't last, we're bound to p*** each other off, and then what will we do?". I pushed it aside.
The following day, this pessimistic voice took hold and I started to fall into catastrophising - how I might end up doing all the work and resenting it (based, I hasten to add, on zero evidence). And, without going into the detail, I then proceeded to sabotage and damage a good thing.
Now I can see more clearly what was going on.
My limiting beliefs:
Good things don't last.
Things that matter to me don't work out.
You won't like me if you really know me.
I didn't realise it in time to stop myself acting out the Inner Pessimist's view. Next time I'll be quicker to catch it. Time for a little soothing of Nervous Nellie (<- it helps to personify!).
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