I posted something recently on Facebook about the pleasure I was finding in my job now that I've decided long term it's not for me. Once the decision was made, I started enjoying it more. I relaxed into it. It wasn't so important and laden with meaning so I performed better and had fun with it. Yegads, I even became more creative. Why, I lamented, was it only when I've decided to let something go, that I start firing on all cylinders? Wouldn't it be wonderful to experience that sense of freedom and fun without leaving jobs, relationships and even, in my case, countries?
For decades people have been telling me to "relax, stop being so uptight/intense, let go". Do you know how unhelpful this is for an uptight person? Does it help? Of course it doesn't. We know we need to relax and let go; what we we don't know is how. And being self-critical souls, we flagellate ourselves and get more uptight because we know we should let go and we can't.
I have been working on this (note working on, not relaxing into) for much of the last year and I am getting better at it. But I am still a words person. And language is important.
John Purkiss (he of Brand You fame) posted this in response to my FB rant "Sounds like letting go to me. Much more fun than clinging/attachment. :-)"
Bingo! Clinging. Now isn't that the most unappealing word for describing attachment, hanging on, not letting go and generally being an uptight so and so?
I only have to think of the word and I loosen my grip. Not on reality, folks. On whatever I've been attaching inordinate amounts of meaning to.
Clinging - my new antidote word.