An argument robot. One you can take out all your frustration and angst on when you get home from a crappy day and just need to express it. And the best part - you always win whatever the argument is. Then you go on with your daily life all sweetness and light and kind and loving to your partner, co-workers etc.
In the meantime I am going to have to learn to find a release for my own stresses and frustrations with myself so that those around me don't (completely unfairly) bear the brunt of it.
It's always a sign that I'm avoiding a fundamental truth or difficulty when I go into bolshy 12 year old mode. Very unattractive.
robot post fight